Below is the list of movies I saw in 2009 that didn't make my top 10 list:
Avatar
Funny People
Invictus
Moon
The Young Victoria
Watchmen
I Love You Man
Angels & Demons
Observe and Report
Defiance
The Informant!
Zombieland
Taken
Adventureland
Bruno
State of Play
Sherlock Holmes
Extract
Below is a list of movies I considered in the running for worst movie of 2009:
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Whatever Works
Terminator Salvation
Notorious
The Soloist
Below is the list of '09 movies I wish I'd seen or heard were good (I did not include animated kids movies, because I don't like them, which could be a whole blog post itself):
9
A Serious Man
A Single Man
An Education
Away We Go
Boondock Saints II
Bronson
Che
Cold Souls
Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince
It Might Get Loud
Julie & Julia
Nine
Paranormal Activity
Pirate Radio
Precious
Sunshine Cleaner
Taking Woodstock
The Blind Side
The Cove
The Damned United
The Hurt Locker
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
The Men Who Stare at Goats
Tyson
Up
Where the Wild Things Are
Saturday, December 26, 2009
2009 - Movie Year in Review
Another year has come to an end. The internet is littered with best-of lists, for both the year and the decade. The last thing anyone needs is another one of these countdowns. But, I’m going to give you one anyway. Obviously, I can only judge the movies I’ve seen (sorry The Blindside, I can’t take that much sap in one sitting).
Here are my criteria: I have used http://www.film-releases.com/ as my master list of 2009 movies in chronological order. It was the best match Google found, and looks to be a complete list. I have decided to select 10 movies, a nice round number.
The criteria I use to judge movies are: (1) Am I glad I spent $10? (2) What is the re-watchability factor? (3) Is it getting Oscar buzz – a general indication that even if I don’t like it, the film-educated public is showing an interest. (4) What is the likelihood that in 5 years, I will remember this film as the year's best (relevance and sustainability). (5) How good is it relative to other films in the same genre during the year?
One last thing, I am using the 2009 calendar year. I know that includes films that have already been submitted/nominated/awarded for “last year’s” Oscars. [Example: Revolutionary Road – 1/23/09]. Let’s get to it.
10. Public Enemies:
Here’s the thing. This is my favorite films of 2009. I know Public Enemies won't win any Oscars or be remembered as one of Depp’s finest films. But, this movie was fun. It boasts a great cast (Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, Billy Crudup, Marion Cotillard, etc.). The movie this reminds me of is Rounders. Not so much a great film, as it is a greatly enjoyable film.
It’s another Depp picture where the protagonist is a “bad guy”. Blow is probably a better watch, but not by much. The antagonists are interesting (especially Billy Crudup, who is sneaking up on becoming an elite actor). The love interest is appealing and believable. All of this leads to the film scoring extremely high on my first two criteria (and high enough to barely crack the top 10): #1 – definitely glad I spent $10 seeing it, and #2 – an outstanding re-watchability factor.
Favorite quote: “I like baseball, movies, good clothes, whiskey, fast cars... and you. What else you need to know?”
9. Revolutionary Road:
This one got tons of buzz last Oscar season, so I’m sure I don’t need to elaborate too much about why it shows up here. Needless to say, the scenery was spot-on and gorgeous, and the acting was great. Unfortunately, the reason this film shows up so low in my top 10 is because the acting is so good. This movie has almost no re-watchability. The characters are so rich and believable, and their plight so dark, that it is inevitably depressing to watch. It makes you question whether or not you wish to get married, have children, and the value of the American Dream in general. I would definitely recommend this movie to all my friends. But, I would suggest having an episode of The Office handy afterwards. It’s hard not to feel beaten down after viewing this movie. I will say, I am impressed when a director/writer has the balls to avoid giving the audience a token “happy ending”. The one refreshing element in the movie is a mentally unstable neighbor played by Michael Shannon. His character provides the favorite quote below.
Favorite quote: “Hopeless emptiness. Now you've said it. Plenty of people are onto the emptiness, but it takes real guts to see the hopelessness.”
8. District 9
My dilemma for this slot was whether to give the nod to District 9 or Avatar. Both use CGI like it’s going out of style. Both deal with the eradication of another race. Both deal with characters that are struggling to understand the opposition (and eventually transform in to their enemies, literally). But, it came down to three things for me: (1) District 9 cost $30M, Avatar cost $300-400M, depending on the site you visit. (2) District 9 is 1hr50min, Avatar is 2hr40min. (3) District 9 would be nearly as enjoyable at home on my bluray player as it was in the theater. Avatar would bore my socks off without the 3D IMAX experience. Don’t get me wrong, Avatar was fun to watch the first time. But, once you get past the 3D imaging, the story is very vanilla and 100% predictable. Plus, James Cameron threw in some random cussing in an attempt to make you believe it is something else other than a glorified kids movie (which it isn’t). I found this a little off-putting and totally unneeded. I simply prefer District 9.
Favorite Quote: “I would never have any kind of... pornographic activity with a fookin' creature!”
7. The Hangover
I won’t spend a lot of time on this one. This was a slow year for movies (consider 2007 which had There Will Be Blood, No Country for Old Men, Michael Clayton, Juno, and Atonement). So, I think this movie definitely belongs in 2009’s top 10 list. But, in some recent years, it wouldn’t have been close. The shining star, in my opinion, is Zach Galifinakis. He steals every scene and is a comedic force to be reckoned with next decade. He has some funny stuff out there on FunnyOrDie.com. I’m a little cooler on this movie because I didn’t see it in the theater, sat through six months of people telling me how it was life-changingly good, and have never been a fan of either Ed Helms or Bradley Cooper. I also think the re-watchability is slightly hurt by the fact that there were “surprises” in the film. For example, the second (and third, and fourth…) time you watch this movie, the groom being on the roof, the cop car, the man in the trunk, the tiger, Mike Tyson, the kidnapped man NOT being the groom, etc. will no longer be half as funny since you are expecting it. All jokes are funniest the first time you hear them. But much of the comedy in this film was derived from the unexpectedness of the “punch line” (pun intended for the Mike Tyson scene). The re-quoteability really carries this sucker though. And how could I forget Heather Graham’s boobs. She is totally under-rated.
Favorite Quote: “I'm not getting a sig' on my beeper.”
6. In The Loop
I’m a sucker for limited release movies. One of the reasons I love living in a city as large as Dallas. If you like mockumentary style comedies, this movie is for you. It shows the incompetence of the British and American governments and their shared disdain for each other. Since I’m under the age of 60, I’m not a fan of Christopher Guest movies like Best In Show, but I hear this is similar. Basically, this is like Parks and Recreation on a grand scale with a superb cast. Definitely worth a rental.
Favorite Quote: “Twelve thousand troops. But that's not enough. That's the amount that are going to die. And at the end of a war you need some soldiers left, really, or else it looks like you've lost.”
5. Star Trek
The Star Trek film for people who don’t like Star Trek. You can walk in to this film with zero prior knowledge of the genre. It’s done by J.J. Abrams, a champion of both involved, delicate story lines (Lost) and simplistic adventures of the masses (Fringe, Cloverfield). This movie falls somewhere in between. It looks great, sounds great, and has interesting, funny characters to join on the ride. It was the best of the summer action films (Terminator Salvation being the very worst of the worst). I knew that J.J. Abrams was on to something with this franchise when even my mom liked it. Again, this is a movie that might not have made it on the top 10 even last year (Doubt didn’t even get nominated for Best Picture in 2008, if that tells you anything). It’s a great movie to try out on a new bluray player if you got one for Christmas.
Favorite quote: “Space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence.”
4. Sin Nombre
Again, I am a sucker for independent films. I only found out about this movie by watching a film critic tv show in July about the best of 2009 so far. This made both critics’ top five films. I rented it from Blockbuster and found out why. Basically, it is about a Mexican teenager trying to flee to America to escape the gang he no longer wishes to be a part of. He partners with a young Honduran girl also making a run for the border. Why does a film seem more surprising and special when it is a cast of unknowns? I can’t answer that question, but I know it’s true. Dollar for dollar, I think this is the best pure drama of 2009. Worth a trip to blockbuster.
No quotes, it’s in Spanish (IMDb doesn’t list any).
3. Up in the Air
There is a little personal bias built in to this selection. I tend to give bonus points to romantic comedies that are actually comedic and interesting (also see #2 below). I mean, think about that degree of difficulty. You try writing a script that you and your significant other would both legitimately enjoy. This is a relatively recent release. So, I won’t go in to much detail on the plot. The movie succeeds at being both light and heavy from act to act. You see the three main characters develop and transform (Clooney’s character transitions from cold and calculating to romantic and vulnerable).
We get another intriguing performance from Vera Farmiga (the hot psychiatrist girlfriend of Matt Damon in The Departed). BTW, her nude scene is a body double since she had a kid shortly before filming. Sorry to bust your bubble, fellas. The twists and turns will show a whole range of emotions, but, for the most part, this is a feel good movie. Basically it is the opposite of Revolutionary Road (not talking about quality, but referring to tone). I absolutely am glad I spent my $10. There is a high possibility I will purchase the bluray (always good to keep at least one movie around that a girl would like to watch too). This movie is getting a healthy amount of Oscar buzz. Depending on the awards season, there is a chance that I will remember this as The Movie of 2009 (I’m guessing it will be #1 though). And, this movie is 2nd in it’s genre (mainly because #2 has Zooey Deshchanel and comedy plays a larger role). Up in the Air performs well in all 5 of my criteria, placing it in my top three for 2009.
Favorite quote: “Never get behind old people. Their bodies are littered with hidden metal and they never seem to appreciate how little time they have left. Bingo, Asians. They pack light, travel efficiently, and they have a thing for slip on shoes. Gotta love 'em.”
2. 500 Days of Summer
I don’t want to be redundant, so I’ll just say that this movie has the same “degree of difficulty” as #3 above. I ranked this slightly higher because this has more laughs (like, legitimate comedy laughs) and is at least the same quality of film as Up in the Air. Zooey Deschanel has a spell on me, which also swayed my opinion. This movie has laughs, conflict, dynamic characters, and a really interesting way of story telling (the story jumps around chronologically, in no particular order). This is a must see. I think it stayed under the radar because it was a limited release for so long. With all of the positive qualities this movie possesses, it still could not topple my #1 of 2009.
Favorite quote: “The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Especially you Jenny Beckman. Bitch.”
1. Inglorious Basterds
If you haven’t seen it yet, I don’t know what to tell you. It’s an instant classic. The only bad thing about this film is trying to describe to a friend what it’s like. I mean, it’s a Tarantino film. What else is there to say? It’s a comedy, a drama, an action movie, a foreign film, a (delusional) history film, etc. Of course it’s a little bloody. Of course it’s not always politically correct. Those are just a few of the things that make it great. The story telling is Seinfeld-esque, having multiple story lines collide in the final act. The top-notch actors deliver their lines perfectly every time. There are awesome cameos (Mike Myers) that grab your attention during the 2hr33min movie. It hits all my criteria out of the park. I gladly would have spent $50 to see it. I already own the bluray. It has mega Oscar buzz. It is the odds-on favorite to be the movie you remember when you’re looking back on 2009 down the road. Is Inglorious Basterds the best movie of its genre? This movie is its own genre. It is enthralling and entertaining from the opening credits to the closing credits. This decision really was not too difficult. 2009 might have been a down year for quality movie making, but it sure wasn’t an empty one.
Favorite quote: “Teddy fuckin' Williams knocks it out of the park! Fenway Park on its feet for Teddy! Fuckin' ballgame! He went yardo on that one, on to fuckin' Lansdowne Street!
P.s. When I get bored again, I will probably post the list of movies I didn’t see (which obviously didn’t allow me to include them in the running) and my three worst movies of 2009.
Here are my criteria: I have used http://www.film-releases.com/ as my master list of 2009 movies in chronological order. It was the best match Google found, and looks to be a complete list. I have decided to select 10 movies, a nice round number.
The criteria I use to judge movies are: (1) Am I glad I spent $10? (2) What is the re-watchability factor? (3) Is it getting Oscar buzz – a general indication that even if I don’t like it, the film-educated public is showing an interest. (4) What is the likelihood that in 5 years, I will remember this film as the year's best (relevance and sustainability). (5) How good is it relative to other films in the same genre during the year?
One last thing, I am using the 2009 calendar year. I know that includes films that have already been submitted/nominated/awarded for “last year’s” Oscars. [Example: Revolutionary Road – 1/23/09]. Let’s get to it.
10. Public Enemies:
Here’s the thing. This is my favorite films of 2009. I know Public Enemies won't win any Oscars or be remembered as one of Depp’s finest films. But, this movie was fun. It boasts a great cast (Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, Billy Crudup, Marion Cotillard, etc.). The movie this reminds me of is Rounders. Not so much a great film, as it is a greatly enjoyable film.
It’s another Depp picture where the protagonist is a “bad guy”. Blow is probably a better watch, but not by much. The antagonists are interesting (especially Billy Crudup, who is sneaking up on becoming an elite actor). The love interest is appealing and believable. All of this leads to the film scoring extremely high on my first two criteria (and high enough to barely crack the top 10): #1 – definitely glad I spent $10 seeing it, and #2 – an outstanding re-watchability factor.
Favorite quote: “I like baseball, movies, good clothes, whiskey, fast cars... and you. What else you need to know?”
9. Revolutionary Road:
This one got tons of buzz last Oscar season, so I’m sure I don’t need to elaborate too much about why it shows up here. Needless to say, the scenery was spot-on and gorgeous, and the acting was great. Unfortunately, the reason this film shows up so low in my top 10 is because the acting is so good. This movie has almost no re-watchability. The characters are so rich and believable, and their plight so dark, that it is inevitably depressing to watch. It makes you question whether or not you wish to get married, have children, and the value of the American Dream in general. I would definitely recommend this movie to all my friends. But, I would suggest having an episode of The Office handy afterwards. It’s hard not to feel beaten down after viewing this movie. I will say, I am impressed when a director/writer has the balls to avoid giving the audience a token “happy ending”. The one refreshing element in the movie is a mentally unstable neighbor played by Michael Shannon. His character provides the favorite quote below.
Favorite quote: “Hopeless emptiness. Now you've said it. Plenty of people are onto the emptiness, but it takes real guts to see the hopelessness.”
8. District 9
My dilemma for this slot was whether to give the nod to District 9 or Avatar. Both use CGI like it’s going out of style. Both deal with the eradication of another race. Both deal with characters that are struggling to understand the opposition (and eventually transform in to their enemies, literally). But, it came down to three things for me: (1) District 9 cost $30M, Avatar cost $300-400M, depending on the site you visit. (2) District 9 is 1hr50min, Avatar is 2hr40min. (3) District 9 would be nearly as enjoyable at home on my bluray player as it was in the theater. Avatar would bore my socks off without the 3D IMAX experience. Don’t get me wrong, Avatar was fun to watch the first time. But, once you get past the 3D imaging, the story is very vanilla and 100% predictable. Plus, James Cameron threw in some random cussing in an attempt to make you believe it is something else other than a glorified kids movie (which it isn’t). I found this a little off-putting and totally unneeded. I simply prefer District 9.
Favorite Quote: “I would never have any kind of... pornographic activity with a fookin' creature!”
7. The Hangover
I won’t spend a lot of time on this one. This was a slow year for movies (consider 2007 which had There Will Be Blood, No Country for Old Men, Michael Clayton, Juno, and Atonement). So, I think this movie definitely belongs in 2009’s top 10 list. But, in some recent years, it wouldn’t have been close. The shining star, in my opinion, is Zach Galifinakis. He steals every scene and is a comedic force to be reckoned with next decade. He has some funny stuff out there on FunnyOrDie.com. I’m a little cooler on this movie because I didn’t see it in the theater, sat through six months of people telling me how it was life-changingly good, and have never been a fan of either Ed Helms or Bradley Cooper. I also think the re-watchability is slightly hurt by the fact that there were “surprises” in the film. For example, the second (and third, and fourth…) time you watch this movie, the groom being on the roof, the cop car, the man in the trunk, the tiger, Mike Tyson, the kidnapped man NOT being the groom, etc. will no longer be half as funny since you are expecting it. All jokes are funniest the first time you hear them. But much of the comedy in this film was derived from the unexpectedness of the “punch line” (pun intended for the Mike Tyson scene). The re-quoteability really carries this sucker though. And how could I forget Heather Graham’s boobs. She is totally under-rated.
Favorite Quote: “I'm not getting a sig' on my beeper.”
6. In The Loop
I’m a sucker for limited release movies. One of the reasons I love living in a city as large as Dallas. If you like mockumentary style comedies, this movie is for you. It shows the incompetence of the British and American governments and their shared disdain for each other. Since I’m under the age of 60, I’m not a fan of Christopher Guest movies like Best In Show, but I hear this is similar. Basically, this is like Parks and Recreation on a grand scale with a superb cast. Definitely worth a rental.
Favorite Quote: “Twelve thousand troops. But that's not enough. That's the amount that are going to die. And at the end of a war you need some soldiers left, really, or else it looks like you've lost.”
5. Star Trek
The Star Trek film for people who don’t like Star Trek. You can walk in to this film with zero prior knowledge of the genre. It’s done by J.J. Abrams, a champion of both involved, delicate story lines (Lost) and simplistic adventures of the masses (Fringe, Cloverfield). This movie falls somewhere in between. It looks great, sounds great, and has interesting, funny characters to join on the ride. It was the best of the summer action films (Terminator Salvation being the very worst of the worst). I knew that J.J. Abrams was on to something with this franchise when even my mom liked it. Again, this is a movie that might not have made it on the top 10 even last year (Doubt didn’t even get nominated for Best Picture in 2008, if that tells you anything). It’s a great movie to try out on a new bluray player if you got one for Christmas.
Favorite quote: “Space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence.”
4. Sin Nombre
Again, I am a sucker for independent films. I only found out about this movie by watching a film critic tv show in July about the best of 2009 so far. This made both critics’ top five films. I rented it from Blockbuster and found out why. Basically, it is about a Mexican teenager trying to flee to America to escape the gang he no longer wishes to be a part of. He partners with a young Honduran girl also making a run for the border. Why does a film seem more surprising and special when it is a cast of unknowns? I can’t answer that question, but I know it’s true. Dollar for dollar, I think this is the best pure drama of 2009. Worth a trip to blockbuster.
No quotes, it’s in Spanish (IMDb doesn’t list any).
3. Up in the Air
There is a little personal bias built in to this selection. I tend to give bonus points to romantic comedies that are actually comedic and interesting (also see #2 below). I mean, think about that degree of difficulty. You try writing a script that you and your significant other would both legitimately enjoy. This is a relatively recent release. So, I won’t go in to much detail on the plot. The movie succeeds at being both light and heavy from act to act. You see the three main characters develop and transform (Clooney’s character transitions from cold and calculating to romantic and vulnerable).
We get another intriguing performance from Vera Farmiga (the hot psychiatrist girlfriend of Matt Damon in The Departed). BTW, her nude scene is a body double since she had a kid shortly before filming. Sorry to bust your bubble, fellas. The twists and turns will show a whole range of emotions, but, for the most part, this is a feel good movie. Basically it is the opposite of Revolutionary Road (not talking about quality, but referring to tone). I absolutely am glad I spent my $10. There is a high possibility I will purchase the bluray (always good to keep at least one movie around that a girl would like to watch too). This movie is getting a healthy amount of Oscar buzz. Depending on the awards season, there is a chance that I will remember this as The Movie of 2009 (I’m guessing it will be #1 though). And, this movie is 2nd in it’s genre (mainly because #2 has Zooey Deshchanel and comedy plays a larger role). Up in the Air performs well in all 5 of my criteria, placing it in my top three for 2009.
Favorite quote: “Never get behind old people. Their bodies are littered with hidden metal and they never seem to appreciate how little time they have left. Bingo, Asians. They pack light, travel efficiently, and they have a thing for slip on shoes. Gotta love 'em.”
2. 500 Days of Summer
I don’t want to be redundant, so I’ll just say that this movie has the same “degree of difficulty” as #3 above. I ranked this slightly higher because this has more laughs (like, legitimate comedy laughs) and is at least the same quality of film as Up in the Air. Zooey Deschanel has a spell on me, which also swayed my opinion. This movie has laughs, conflict, dynamic characters, and a really interesting way of story telling (the story jumps around chronologically, in no particular order). This is a must see. I think it stayed under the radar because it was a limited release for so long. With all of the positive qualities this movie possesses, it still could not topple my #1 of 2009.
Favorite quote: “The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Especially you Jenny Beckman. Bitch.”
1. Inglorious Basterds
If you haven’t seen it yet, I don’t know what to tell you. It’s an instant classic. The only bad thing about this film is trying to describe to a friend what it’s like. I mean, it’s a Tarantino film. What else is there to say? It’s a comedy, a drama, an action movie, a foreign film, a (delusional) history film, etc. Of course it’s a little bloody. Of course it’s not always politically correct. Those are just a few of the things that make it great. The story telling is Seinfeld-esque, having multiple story lines collide in the final act. The top-notch actors deliver their lines perfectly every time. There are awesome cameos (Mike Myers) that grab your attention during the 2hr33min movie. It hits all my criteria out of the park. I gladly would have spent $50 to see it. I already own the bluray. It has mega Oscar buzz. It is the odds-on favorite to be the movie you remember when you’re looking back on 2009 down the road. Is Inglorious Basterds the best movie of its genre? This movie is its own genre. It is enthralling and entertaining from the opening credits to the closing credits. This decision really was not too difficult. 2009 might have been a down year for quality movie making, but it sure wasn’t an empty one.Favorite quote: “Teddy fuckin' Williams knocks it out of the park! Fenway Park on its feet for Teddy! Fuckin' ballgame! He went yardo on that one, on to fuckin' Lansdowne Street!
P.s. When I get bored again, I will probably post the list of movies I didn’t see (which obviously didn’t allow me to include them in the running) and my three worst movies of 2009.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Are you ready for some football??
Fun things to watch for on the first college football week:
- The opening game next Thursday 6 PM, South Carolina v NC State. Gotta love the ‘Ol Ball Coach.
- Same night 9:15 PM - #16 at #14, Oregon v Boise State. The ugliest uni’s versus the ugliest field.
- Appalachian State versus East Carolina, Saturday 11 AM. Not even televised, but it is a match up of early season Cinderellas from the past couple seasons.
- 11 AM Saturday: Greg Paulus starts at QB for Syracuse. Huge on the unintentional comedy scale. Minnesota at Syracuse.
- 2:30 PM. Georgia plays some little hick-ass school I’ve never heard of….Okie State?
- Same time: Can Notre Dame lose it’s first game, versus Nevada? I’d like to see the odds on this.
- Same time: Michigan versus Western Michigan – Coach Rodriguez is gonna play all three qb’s on the Wolverine’s roster…what has happened to Michigan?
- Same time: Baylor at Wake Forsest – wouldn’t it worry you just a little if you checked the box score on Sunday and Baylor’s freak athlete qb had 3 rushing td’s and a 50 yd passing td?
- 2:40 PM : Mizzou v. Illinois – Illinois is a projected top 10 offense (who is at the top of that list again? Does the team include Dezzie Biz?). See if the Illinois qb, Juice, can run all over the Tigers.
- 6 PM: OU v. BYU at Jerry Jones Dome. Watch BYU’s punter hit the most expensive and largest tv in the world as 100,000 rednecks scream down on the field horrible Mormon slurs.
- 6:10 PM: Umass at K State – Snyder is back…did the glory return with him?
- 7 PM: Alabama v. VT, #5 at #7. SEC v. ACC.
- Monday 7PM: Tha U at FSU. Which team will have more players suspended/in jail?
Saturday, May 2, 2009
The Sports Guy's Sports Boner
It's that time of the month again. It's like Old Faithful. Simmons has a new man-crush. This time it's the alien-look-a-like Rajon Rondo. If you haven't read the new article yet, take a glance. We've seen his hetero-hard on's before; Kevin Durant, Timmy Brady, Larry Byrd (whom he calls Basketball Jesus), and [insert Redsox player name here].
So, we've seen this behavior before. But, we've never seen Simmons get wet over anyone but a top-tier, unquestionably great player before. Hey, Rondo has proven he's a really good point guard. I won't question that. But Simmons is saying Rondo is a max player now. Take a look at this list: Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, Dwight Howard, Dwayne Wade, Rajon Rondo. Who doesn't seem to fit in on that list???
Simmons acts like Rondo is the second coming, insinuating that we've never seen a player like Rondo before. Just because we haven't seen someone exactly like him before, does that make him superior to everyone else we're currently seeing? Simple answer, no. He's a less dynamic, shorter Magic that can't score nearly as well and needs three perennial all-stars playing in front of him so his lack of leadership doesn't shine through.
Being the fourth best player (at best) on a championship team has an effect on players that should not be overlooked. It's really easy to throw Kirk Heinrich into the scorers table (game 6) or punch Brad Miller in the lip (game 5) when your big, bad teammates are standing between you and an ass kicking.
Another point that Simmons conveniently ignores; having tons of injured teammates and 7 OT periods in a series artificially inflates the box score. He is averaging a trip-dub in the series. But, let's not forget he has the extra minutes to draw off of. Plus, he's been playing out of his mind every minute of every game. What could Derek Rose be averaging if the fire he caught in game 1 never cooled? Rondo's play is admirable, but it's simply impossible (and crazy to assume) that Rondo can play out of his mind for every minute in the remainder of his career.
Newsflash to the Sports Guy, there IS a world beyond Boston city limits. Not everyone cares about Rondo (or knows who he is). Consider if Rondo played for the Raptors. No KG to educate him on the skills of being a lunatic on the floor. No championship team that is good enough (and who's conference is bad enough) to compensate for a young, inexperienced point guard that is really playing way out of his league. If he was on the Raptors, Rondo would still be that skinny little scary-looking player that left Kentucky too soon. The Rondo we're seeing and the Celts' bravado is one in the same. Stick him on the Bobcats and he's chunkin' turnovers to Sean May and splitting time with Raymond Felton.
As large as Simmons' woodie is for Rondo, there is a world outside of his tunnel vision. At the end of the day, Rondo isn't even a top 5 point guard in the league. If you're telling me that you would take Rondo over (1) Chris Paul, (2) Tony Parker, (3) Deron Williams, (4) Derek Rose, or (5) Devin Harris, then you're crazy. Devin Harris rates higher for me because he is relatively the same age, has the same potential for growth, but is a much more dynamic scorer.
Maybe the Harris pick is debatable. But, the other four are not. And if that is the case, then calm down Simmons. Come back to earth before you hit the save button on your article. This is the same kind of homer-ism that sours some people on your column.
Check out this funny youtube clip that explains where the BS Report theme music comes from.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
NBA Playoffs Game 1's
Here are some quick thoughts on the first round so far:
WEST CONFERENCE
Lakers (1) vs Jazz (8) - I'm not even sure if this series is actually happening. You could tell even the Jazz players don't think they have a chance in hell of beating the Lakers. The Lake show beat them easily without even shifting out of cruise control.
Interesting side note: Carlos Boozer is a great argument against anyone ever saying that a college player's height won't translate well to the NBA (and I admit I say this frequently). Think about it, a 6-9 powerforward that actually plays center alot, especially on the defensive end. Maybe Psycho T does have a future in The League.
Nugs (2) vs Hornets (7) - This is basically Chris Paul vs Billups/Carmelo. I think it all hinges on how much weed 'Melo tokes over the next week or so. CP3 never gets much help, but the Nugs are a roster of headcases. You never know when K-Mart and Josh Smith are going to pull a Plaxico and accidentally shoot themselves at da club. And history tells us that 'Melo just can't figure out how to put his game together for a seven game series. It just escapes him. Bottom line, I'd be shocked if this doesn't go atleast 6 games.
Spurs (3) vs Mavs (6) - Finally, the Spurs dynasty is over. No more snooze-fest finals every other year. They've won 50+ games for 10 seasons in a row. Impressive...and boring. Never like to see something come to an end b/c of injuries. But, I'm glad it's over. Having the Mavs playing "away" games just south of Dallas doesn't hurt either. Don't worry, Dirk and the gang will graciously get swept in the next round.
Blazers (4) vs Rockets (5) - Portland's not ready. Period. Ton of talent. Zero experience. Thanks for playing. Hilarious side-story...TMac will finally get out of the first round...watching it from the bench. Just goes to show, never start your career in Toronto (just ask Vince Carter and Damon Stoudamire).
EAST CONFERENCE:
LeBrons (1) vs Detroit (8) - Another great (boring) dynasty that is coming to an end. Stick a fork in the Pistons. LeBron is playing on a different level. I say it still goes 5 though. James will have one off night and the guys with rings will take advantage. I'm calling it now, in the elimination game, Rasheed will mail in a performance that will lessen your respect for him.
Celtics (2) vs Bulls (7) - Bulls aren't that great. Their point guard is. But the Celts are screwed without KG. Allen can't function in the playoffs. And, we all witnessed how well the Paul Pierce one man show works. I actually think the Bulls win this in 6. Actually, I really like the match up for the Bulls in round 2. They can run with Philly, and would give Orlando fits. Stay tuned.
Orlando (3) vs Philly (6) - Orlando hasn't been out of the first round since Penny. Their management has no concept of roster building. Must suck to be a Magic fan. Can't remember the last time I looked at their roster and felt excited. Dwight is a monster, but the rest of the cast is made up of secondhand role players.
Hawks (4) vs Heat (5) -Anyone else feel like we're wasting away Dwayne Wade's prime years? I don't believe in the Hawks, especially in a seven game series. But, there is only so much one player can do. Their second best player is Udonis Haslem. That sentence should never be written about a playoff team with a top 5 player. But, it's true.
WEST CONFERENCE
Lakers (1) vs Jazz (8) - I'm not even sure if this series is actually happening. You could tell even the Jazz players don't think they have a chance in hell of beating the Lakers. The Lake show beat them easily without even shifting out of cruise control.
Interesting side note: Carlos Boozer is a great argument against anyone ever saying that a college player's height won't translate well to the NBA (and I admit I say this frequently). Think about it, a 6-9 powerforward that actually plays center alot, especially on the defensive end. Maybe Psycho T does have a future in The League.
Nugs (2) vs Hornets (7) - This is basically Chris Paul vs Billups/Carmelo. I think it all hinges on how much weed 'Melo tokes over the next week or so. CP3 never gets much help, but the Nugs are a roster of headcases. You never know when K-Mart and Josh Smith are going to pull a Plaxico and accidentally shoot themselves at da club. And history tells us that 'Melo just can't figure out how to put his game together for a seven game series. It just escapes him. Bottom line, I'd be shocked if this doesn't go atleast 6 games.
Spurs (3) vs Mavs (6) - Finally, the Spurs dynasty is over. No more snooze-fest finals every other year. They've won 50+ games for 10 seasons in a row. Impressive...and boring. Never like to see something come to an end b/c of injuries. But, I'm glad it's over. Having the Mavs playing "away" games just south of Dallas doesn't hurt either. Don't worry, Dirk and the gang will graciously get swept in the next round.
Blazers (4) vs Rockets (5) - Portland's not ready. Period. Ton of talent. Zero experience. Thanks for playing. Hilarious side-story...TMac will finally get out of the first round...watching it from the bench. Just goes to show, never start your career in Toronto (just ask Vince Carter and Damon Stoudamire).
EAST CONFERENCE:
LeBrons (1) vs Detroit (8) - Another great (boring) dynasty that is coming to an end. Stick a fork in the Pistons. LeBron is playing on a different level. I say it still goes 5 though. James will have one off night and the guys with rings will take advantage. I'm calling it now, in the elimination game, Rasheed will mail in a performance that will lessen your respect for him.
Celtics (2) vs Bulls (7) - Bulls aren't that great. Their point guard is. But the Celts are screwed without KG. Allen can't function in the playoffs. And, we all witnessed how well the Paul Pierce one man show works. I actually think the Bulls win this in 6. Actually, I really like the match up for the Bulls in round 2. They can run with Philly, and would give Orlando fits. Stay tuned.
Orlando (3) vs Philly (6) - Orlando hasn't been out of the first round since Penny. Their management has no concept of roster building. Must suck to be a Magic fan. Can't remember the last time I looked at their roster and felt excited. Dwight is a monster, but the rest of the cast is made up of secondhand role players.
Hawks (4) vs Heat (5) -Anyone else feel like we're wasting away Dwayne Wade's prime years? I don't believe in the Hawks, especially in a seven game series. But, there is only so much one player can do. Their second best player is Udonis Haslem. That sentence should never be written about a playoff team with a top 5 player. But, it's true.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Detroit, Nosebleed City
What a great idea to put 80K in Ford Field to watch a basketball game. With a telescope, those nosebleed ticketholders can almost make out the names of the players on that tiny court.
Who really has it better in this situation? Me sitting infront of my 60" HDTV, or Joe The GM Worker watching it from space?
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